Why Is It So Difficult To Change Your Life?

Most people never really change, neither themselves nor their life circumstances. Whatever we do, core-level change hardly ever takes place. Some of us try in desperation to literally compel change, but this usually only leads to minor improvements on the surface of our lives, which then often evaporate in no time. Or we totally exhaust ourselves while desperately fighting for better life circumstances.

So what to do? The first step, as always, is understanding the hidden cause of this tricky situation. The basic reason for our inability to change our lives is actually:

Change can be dangerous! Who knows what might happen… What if it doesn’t work out the way we hoped it would…? Hell, we might even die while trying to make our greatest dreams come true!

It’s precisely this fear of change that will hold us tightly within our well known reality tunnel. As long as we just move inside the boundaries of our safe reality tunnels real change is virtually impossible!

So many of us capitulated long time ago and decided to stay in our homely, cozy reality tunnels. However boring and limiting experiences this might generate, at least we feel secure in there. Never really daring to break out of our old reality tunnels into “Extremistan” as intuitive consultant Martin Zoller so impressively describes, most people live miserable lives in “Mediocristan”.

Just when I think I have learned the way to live, life changes.

(Hugh Prather)

So how to break out? The most effective way to widen the borders of our reality tunnels is always to directly confront our fears, however terrible they seam to be. Obviously the bad news is: This most often takes enormous courage. But the good news: It’s definitively the best and fastest way to make genuine change become a reality in our lives!

Author Anais Nin (1903 – 1977) described this long ago:

Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.

(Anais Nin)

But how do we know in which direction to expand our reality tunnels? How do we know where to be courageous; which fear to confront; what to do exactly? Only intuition can reliably show us the best course of action here. We first must find out what we really want in life and then directly confront the various fears that our heads will come up with.

Then we will make an interesting discovery: The more our reality tunnels broaden as a result of confronting our fears, the easier it gets to change our lives. And in the end, as our reality tunnels have completely opened up they will just dissolve. Without any reality tunnel at all, change will just happen automatically – without the interference of us!

(The ‘I’ that could interfere is simply not there anymore because you are not even an onion…)

And as German poet Rainer Maria Rilke put it bluntly:

Want the change!

(Rainer Maria Rilke)

So pura vida and make your ongoing habit: Daily change!

Life changes fast. Life changes in the instant. You sit down to dinner and life as you know it ends.

(Joan Didion)

(c)reated by Ultrafeel